Author: Ashley Bischoff

Semicolons

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I enjoyed this quote from Lewis Thomas on semicolons, from today’s WordSpy mailing:

“I have grown fond of semicolons in recent years. The semicolon tells you that there is still some question about the preceding full sentence; something needs to be added; it reminds you sometimes of the Greek usage. It is almost always a greater pleasure to come across a semicolon than a period. The period tells you that that is that; if you didn’t get all the meaning you wanted or expected, anyway you got all the writer intended to parcel out and now you have to move along. But with a semicolon there you get a pleasant little feeling of expectancy; there is more to come; read on; it will get clearer.”

—Lewis Thomas, American doctor and essayist, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

Air Guitar Championships

Ashley Bischoff3 Comments

As mentioned on MetaFilter, Zac ‘Mr. Magnet’ Monro has won the 7th Annual Air Guitar World Championships (in Oulu, Finland) for the second year in a row. Video of his winning performance is also available.

I watched the video and, while good, I thought it could have been better. I must concur with one of the MetaFilter comments:

Uh-Huh…

If you’re gonna play air guitar, you should at least try to simulate chord changes by switching fingers and moving your hand up and down the “neck” of the guitar, as it were.

Then there’s the whole issue of whether on not to use an air pic or whammy bar…

Hasta La Vista, SatireWire

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I was disappointed to learn that SatireWire is calling it quits. Some people looked down upon SatireWire as an “Onion Clone”, but I enjoyed its humor in its own right.

Over the years, SatireWire has had so many stories that have acutely poked at the humor in today’s current events. One of my favorites that comes to mind is Remaining U.S. CEOs Make a Break For It:

Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense.

“They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-booked the revenues,” said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. “Right in front of my daughters.” […]

Serving Sara Not Doing Well

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The critics are giving Serving Sara a hard time. Really, I can’t say that I’m surprised — sure, it stars Bruce “This is my boom stick” Campbell, but I still thought it looked pretty bad from the trailers.

Washington Post: As a child, I thought pure hell meant eternal agony in the flames of Satan. Now I know it’s looking down at your watch and realizing Serving Sara isn't even halfway through.

Spliced Wire: Seeing several hundred movies a year as I do, every once in a while I’ll come across one so insufferably inept from beginning to end that it’s actually hard to review, simply because I don’t know where to begin.

Ouch. But, you thought that was bad? MetaCritic — which generates a composite score from many reviewers — gave The Adventures of Pluto Nash a 4 out of 100. Yikes.

New York Daily News: Eddie Murphy's latest comedy, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, takes place in the year 2087, which is about the earliest he can hope to be forgiven.

New York Post: So unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines.