Author: Ashley Bischoff

Remaining U.S. CEOs Make a Break For It

Ashley BischoffLeave a comment

From SatireWire, Remaining U.S. CEOs Make a Break For It:

[...]The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. “Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor,” said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. “It was like moths to a flame.” Robert Mueller

Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. “Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling or cattle flicking their tails," said Lewis, "but occasionally we'll pick up someone saying, ‘I was totally out of the loop on that.’” [...]

Heh.

Payback

Ashley BischoffLeave a comment

I watched Payback last night on TiVo, recorded earlier from TNT. Well, it sucked. Here’s the basic plot, spoilers included:

  • Porter, Mel Gibson’s character, teams up with another guy, Val, to rob an Asian gang.
  • The robbery goes well and they get a briefcase full of money. But, Val double-crosses Porter and takes all the money.
  • Then, Val uses that money to bribe his way into a crime syndicate. And, for the rest of the movie, Porter chases after the syndicate people to get back his “share” of the money (that he stole in the first place).

Oh, and the director apparently thought it’d be cute to have the movie set in the 70s. So, all the cars and limos are 70s-vintage (though you can occasionally see modern cars in the background). And, all the characters use rotary phones, which is supposed to be cool or something (yes, even the car-phones are rotary).