Squagels – Don’t Be Oppressed By The Tyranny of Round, Man!

Squagels - The Square Bagel

David Cross is a pretty funny guy. If you can't picture him right away, you might recall him as Dr. Tobias Fünke from Arrested Development or from a variety of characters on the HBO series Mr. Show.

My friend Bryan introduced me to Cross’ comedy by way of some of his albums including, I think, Shut Up You Fucking Baby!. And, whether this next bit was from that album or his anothers, I can’t quite remember — either way, though, I think it’s my favorite of Cross’ by far.

The clip above below covers more than one bit — the relevant part, in this case, starts around 2:55. Oh, and it’s safe for work as long as you have headphones on (if you know what I mean).

David Cross - Heaven & Squagels - Live in Atlanta (from DVD)

As it turns out, I went to Super Target after work for some groceries and what did I find? That’s right — Squagels! I don’t even eat bagels that often, but I just couldn’t resist buying these. (Don’t get me wrong, bagels can be rather tasty — especially with smoked salmon and capers — but I don’t often buy them since they’re pretty much all carbs.)

I just can’t bring myself to call these products by their given name, “Thomas’ Mini Squares Bagelbread” (how lame is that?). Having said that, if anyone wants one of these needlessly square breakfast items, just let me know — I’d be happy to bring in a couple Squagels for you.

Oh, So That’s The Deal With 13!

Since yesterday was “Friday the 13th”, I got to thinking about why there was superstition surrounding the number thirteen. As it turns out, I ran across an article on the CSICOP website which addressed just that. (CSICOP is the “Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal”, is a pro-science group.)

How did thirteen get such a bad reputation? To understand, one needs to know the history of twelve, says CSICOP Senior Research Fellow Joe Nickell. “The number twelve has traditionally represented completeness in mythologies and religions around the world,” says Nickell. “There are twelve months of the year, twelve chief gods of Olympus, twelve signs of the zodiac, and twelve apostles of Jesus. Thirteen exists just one digit beyond twelve, and is symbolic of the first departure from divine completeness or the initial step towards evil.” […]

Now for the chicken-and-the-egg thing, I’m left wondering whether thirteen was thought to be unlucky and then the number of apostles was recorded as twelve, or if it happened the other way around :-/.

Clowns Ease Anxiety in Patients

Reuters is reporting on a study which concludes that clowns ease anxiety in young patients:

A clown in the operating room may relax anxious children who are about to undergo surgery, but the entertainer has to learn to keep out of the way, Italian researchers said on Monday. […]

I mean, sure, I can understand that clowns would need to stay out of the way, but I can only imagine the extent to which the study covered that issue if the reporter thought it relevant enough to mention it in the opening paragraph.

“You damn clowns!” exclaimed Dr Frederick Petronko as he shoved Honkers out of the way. […]

Well, all right, that’s not actually a real quote. But that’s what I was hoping I’d come across as I read through the article.

Angle-Grinder Man

The New York Times reports on the UK’s newest superhero: Angle-Grinder Man. In short, Angle Grinder Man is an Englishman who was fed up with the wheel-boots employed by the parking authorities. So, he decided to apply some street justice through missions of removing motorists’ boots by force:

Long-haired and lanky, he is becoming well known in some parts of south London. About a month ago, 25-year-old Petite Tendai arrived home to find a boot on her illegally parked car. (“There were no signs saying ‘no parking,’ ” she declared.) She had barely begun to rail at the injustice of it all when Angle-Grinder Man suddenly appeared.

“Basically, he jumped out of his car in his outfit and said, ‘If anyone can, Angle-Grinder Man can,’ ” Ms. Tendai said in a telephone interview. “Then he just started sawing it off. It was wicked.” He was gone almost as quickly as he came. “It was just a ‘good luck,’ and what-not, and then he was off,” she said. […]

In many ways, he appears to have the complete superhero persona — even including gold lamé underpants and a cape. Still, it would be even cooler if he could convince They Might Be Giants to compose a theme song for him ;).

The Perils of Earl Grey Tea

I was reading this Metafilter thread on tea and I came across this MedALERT synopsis of a patient who ran into problems from drinkng too much Earl Grey:

A man aged 44 years reported muscle cramps to his doctor. He had consumed up to four litres of black tea daily for 25 years and had recently switched to Earl Grey tea, believing it would be less harmful to his stomach. Within a week, he developed muscle cramps and other unusual symptoms, including a feeling of pressure in his eyes. He also had blurred vision, particularly in darkness. After five months, the patient switched from Earl Grey back to pure black tea and his symptoms completely disappeared within a week. […] He also found they did not recur as long as he consumed no more than one litre of Earl Grey tea daily. [emphasis mine]

As an Earl Grey drinker, I’m not terribly worried. After all, it’s not likely that I’d be drinking over a liter a day. Checking the online unit converter, I see that a liter would be about 34 fl oz. Let’s see… At maybe 8 oz per glass, I could have four full glasses of Earl Grey. Hmm, yeah, I should be able to make that ;).