The Language of Business Today

I thought some readers might get a chuckle out of this page of some phrases in use within business these days. Some of my favorites:

Core Competencies

  • Context: We need to focus on our core competencies in order to maintain our edge in the marketplace
  • Meaning: What you/your company does well

Quick Win

  • Context: Please come up with a list of quick wins we can look to implement
  • Meaning: Things that are fairly simple (in terms of time and/or cost) and will help improve the situation with regards to a project/product

Touch Base

  • Context — “I need to touch base with Fred on this one.”
  • Meaning — “I need to go a speak to Fred about something”

Are you enjoying this as much as I am? Well, the Interweb offers plenty more of this. (I mean, does anyone actually say “Pour the Kool-Aid”?)

So Much for Kojak

USA Network has a new series “Kojak”, based on the 70s series starring Telly Savalas. This time, Ving Rhames plays the title role. It looked interesting from the teasers and so I set my TiVo to record the pilot. What a mistake that was.

The show opens with a set of two detectives interrogating a suspect. They’re asking him about the location of something and who hired him — you know, the usual clichéd detective-suspect chatter. One detective is apparently named Crocker and the suspect mocks him about this, including some crack about how he must have been called “Betty Crocker” as a child (or something). Obviously, these detectives aren’t having much luck and so they walk out of the room, warning the suspect that Kojak is on his way.

Instead of having Rhames walk in at that moment, the producers treat us to a drawn-out introduction to Ving-Rhames-as-Kojak as he walks down a hallway. He’s mostly shot from behind or in silhouette — <sarcasm>ooh, he’s mysterious!</sarcasm>. Finally, Kojak reaches the interrogation room with his trademark lollipop dangling from his lips. He walks in and places his lollipop on the interrogation table; he then proceeds to empty his revolver (revolver!) of its bullets. He inserts a single bullet and spins the chamber, wild-west style.

You'll never guess what came next. Oh, wait, you can see this coming from a mile away? Quelle surprise. Naturally, Kojak slams the suspect’s head onto the table and places his revolver against the perp’s right temple. At first, the suspect calls Kojak’s bluff and continues his jibber-jabbering,but Kojak pulls his trigger a few times as the gun clicks emptily. The suspect soon realizes that the single bullet is soon coming his way; Kojak demands the location of the event and who he’s working for and the suspects whimperingly mumbles the relevant bits to our hero. Triumphantly, Kojak removes his gun and strolls off.

The next scene features Kojak at the scene of the event with a cadre of policemen, thwarting whatever crime was to take place. This was at about the ten-minute mark into the show (out of an hour) and I just stopped watching; I deleted the episode and removed the Season Pass from my TiVo. Clichés aside, I was annoyed by Kojak’s methods in this series (and I speak only of this Ving Rhames version as I’ve never seen Savalas’ version). The best part of detective shows (and, yes, I mean you, Monk) is the lead character’s puzzle-solving abilities. Here it was just brute force, which doesn’t make it much of a detective show, now does it?

I try to keep an open mind about “new original series” on cable (as they like to call them) as many of them can be quite good. But, this time around, I just don’t know what they were thinking. Kojak didn’t hold up as a traditional detective show and it didn’t have enough action to fill that genre either (unless something miraculous happened after that eleventh minute). If you were on the fence about this new edition about Kojak, you needn’t bother.

Jury Duty — Almost Fun

As I mentioned earlier, I received a summons for jury duty for today. And, it was almost fun (well, as fun as jury duty can be, I suppose). Before even getting there, my first decision was how to get there. Mike mentioned that I could make use of the free DART pass included with my summons and that was tempting. As I saw it, if I didn’t have to pay for parking, that meant I’d have more money left over from the jury check (all of six dollars, I know).

So, last night I went to the Trip Planner on DART’s site and typed in both my address and the address of the courthouse. The trip-planning software worked fine; it told me a valid route which would get me from my apartment to the courthouse in time for jury duty. Unfortunately, that trip would have taken just over an hour (yikes). I then checked MapQuest to see how long that would take to drive — and that reported about ”11 minutes”. Since I really didn’t feel like getting up in the middle of the night just to make it to court by 8:30am, I opted to drive.

I did leave a little early, knowing that rush hour would probably add to that “11 minutes”. But, I found the garage easily and got there in plenty of time. I went in through the main doors and, after passing through the metal detectors — which involved taking off my watch and emptying my pockets of my iPod, my Palm and my car keys — I headed to the central court room (or some room with a similar name). I handed in my information slip to someone at the door and walked in to the auditorium-like room. There were rows of movie theater-style collapsing seats and I sat down as they lowered a screen to play an informational video.

After the video, an official stepped up to the podium at the front of the room and explained the basic process for the day: they'd call out groups of numbers, corresponding to our juror numbers, and they'd send each group to a courtroom elsewhere in the building. Within the first few minutes, the group containing my number was called and we were sent to one of the courtrooms on the third floor. Once my group got there, a bailiff called role to make sure that we were all there; and, after that, we were asked to wait outside the courtroom. I deduced later that we were waiting for the lawyers to arrive and prepare.

After about half an hour of waiting, the bailiff took role again and called us into the courtroom by name (to ensure that we’d have a specific seating order). Once we filed in, the judge explained that we were here for a DWI case. He introduced the prosecuting and defense lawyers and explained that both the prosecution and the defense would each have a set of time to ask us questions.

From there, the prosecuting lawyer stood up and started by explaining the conditions which define DWI within the state of Texas. And, after that, she went around the room and asked us questions such as whether we trusted Breathalyzers and on what level we trusted police officers (on a 1-5 scale).

She finished her questions and the defense attorney began. Not surprisingly, he asked questions about whether we would feel comfortable finding someone guilty based on a single person’s testimony (which Texas law allows and, in this case, would most likely refer to the police officer). He also asked if any of us had been personally affected by a drunk driver in the past which would prevent an impartial perspective if we were to serve on the jury. He finished his questions within maybe 20 minutes and the judge dismissed us for a short break while the lawyers made their strike list. (A “strike list”, I presume, is the process where each side crossed of jurors which they would not like to appear on the jury.)

After our fifteen minute break, we found our seats again and, as it turns out, the lawyers were still making up their lists. But, within a few minutes, the bailiff (I think) read off the names of those chosen to serve on the jury; I wasn’t one of those names. Those of us not selected were dismissed and allowed to go home. So, that was my adventure with jury duty — I was expecting government’s usual red tape and bureaucracy but it actually went fairly smoothly.

Sure, there was some waiting involved — I got through a third of The Tipping Point — but we were always treated respectfully by the officials and they made sure to let us know how long each waiting period would be. I don’t know if I’d say it was a ton of fun, but it went a lot better than I expected.

Adding Link Manager Tags to Your WordPress Templates

It's fairly common — well, almost universal — to feature links to your friends’ blogs in a sidebar of your own blog. And, WordPress has a “Links Manager” which makes this even easier (if you’re already running WordPress, you can get to this via the “Links” option across the top of the admin interface). The Link Manager provides an interface for adding and categorizing links; you can set display properties for each category, including how many links to display, whether to display a description, and how to sort the links (such as by name or even random order).

Say you want to add a blogroll to your site. There’s already a “blogroll” category by default and you can add or delete links as you like. Then, it’s just a matter of adjusting your templates to display the links in your sidebar. Now, depending on which theme you're using, this may happen automatically. But, if not, it’s not hard to edit your templates to have it do that.

The WordPress wiki lists plenty of Links Manager-related tags (well, five tags, but you might think that there’d be only one, “display links” or something). They’re actually very similar, and are largely separated based on whether they follow the settings in the Link Manager or whether they override those settings, and whether you need to specify the output-category by-name or by-category-number.

  • get_links_list — This disregards the settings in the Link Manager and displays links from a number-specified category.

  • wp_get_links — This follows the settings in the Link Manager and displays links from a number-specified category.

  • get_links — This displays links from a number-specified category and allows the user to customize the output of the tag.

  • wp_get_linksbyname — This follows the settings in the Links Manager and displays links from a name-specified category.

  • get_linksbyname — This displays links from a name-specified category and allows the user to customize the output of the tag.

Unless you’re using a PHP-based code to feed numbers in, it’s probably easiest to make use of the tags which support categories specified by name. So, I’ll focus on the two tags which support name-based category references (“wp_get_linksbyname” and “get_linksbyname”). And, chances are, you’ll want to go along with the settings which you applied in the Links Manager, so you can use “wp_get_linksbyname” for that.

To make use of that, just open up your sidebar file (sidebar.php) and add a reference to that line, enclosed in <ul></ul> tags. Assuming that the category you wanted to display was “Blogroll”, the code could look something like this:

<ul>
<?php wp_get_linksbyname('Blogroll') ?>
</ul>

You may also want to add an additional header above that as that code only produces the list itself. You can follow along with the surrounding code within your sidebar.php — it’s probably an <h2></h2> tag or such. That’s it — just upload your new sidebar.php to your appropriate theme directory.

Footnote: Apparently — if you’re using get_linksbyname — you can set a parameter so that it includes each link’s update time next to the link (based on its most recent ping to Ping-o-Matic). And, if you set the sorting to [last] updated, you can have your friends’ blogs listed in the order that they updated along with the time that they updated.

This all sounds nifty, but I haven’t had any luck getting that to work. I tried the no-www fix and I manually ran /wp-admin/update-links.php, but I just couldn't get the update-times to show up. So, I’m just making use of a random listing for now. But, I’m open to any ideas there.

So, Your Nixon Watch Is Stuck in 24-Hour Mode?

The other day, I was fiddling with my Nixon watch (yes, that’s the company name with no relation to the dead president). I was just trying to resynchronize its seconds-hand (“seconds-LCD”?) with my computer’s clock which I had just synced with an Internet time server (not literally an atomic clock, but yet kinda in an A-to-B-to-C sort of way). As I was pressing buttons, trying to remember how to get to the time-setting screen, I ended up putting my watch into 24-hour mode. Yeesh.

Thus the saga began. I ended up finding the watch’s manual on their website and I read over about how to set the time. Much of it was fairly straightforward, but the section on setting 12-hour vs 24-hour time simply said “You can set for 12 hour or 24 hour mode while setting the hours”. Well, that didn't really help much. I fiddled with the watch for about ten more minutes until I figured out how to do it.

Most (digital) watches support both 12-hour time and 24-hour time. And, they generally swap between the two modes with a 12/24-hour selector within the time-setting screen. That’s where the Nixon guys decided to be different. Rather than do something that I expected — an explicit 12/24 mode selector — they just built 24-hours time right into the hour-setting sequence. A normal watch might have the hours cycling from 12:00am to 12:00pm through to 11:00pm and, after switching to 24-hour mode, 00:00 to 23:00. But, in this case the sequence was just one long loop: 12:00am to 12:00pm to 11:00pm to 00:00 to 23:00 to 12:00am (and so on).

So, if you have a Nixon watch and you end up getting it stuck in 24-hour mode, don’t worry — just keep advancing the hour and eventually you’ll get back to normal time. Or, I suppose that you could be the type that likes 24-hour time but ends up getting stuck in 12-hour time (which could happen too). Still, you should be able to use the same steps to get back into the time you’re used to.