Hand Coding

I needed some more sugar free jam the other day, so I stopped by Target to get some more. Normally, I’d go for Smucker’s Sugar Free Jam, but I noticed a brand that I hadn’t seen before: Polaner Sugar Free Preserves. I checked the label and it had the same amount of calories as my usual brand but it was sweetened with Splenda instead (Smucker’s is sweetened with aspartame). Their prices were comparable, so I bought some of their raspberry preserves.

That evening, I made a peanut butter & jelly jam open-faced sandwich to put the preserves through its paces. And, the first thing that I noticed as I spread the preserves on top of the peanut butter was that it was a single consistency — it was completely uniform in texture throughout. In fact, it had no texture other than being gelatinous.

The sandwich turned out all right, but it was missing the crunchy character of the raspberry seeds (it was seedless, after all). And, without any lumps or fruit bits in there, these preserves were more like a sweet topping to the sandwich than a distinct raspberry fruit layer. I tried to look to the bright side — the Splenda should have provided a more sugar-like taste, right? Well, it was actually about the same (that is, both sweeteners were acceptable in the context of a PB&J sandwich). Next time I think I’ll grab a jar of Smucker’s instead.

Salon decided to test many of the common low-carb foods, but not just any test — they asked food critics to weigh in. They talked with Mark Bittman (the "Minimalist" columnist for the New York Times), former Saveur editor Liza Schoenfein, Josh Friedland (editor and owner of The Food Section blog), and Salon’s own Laura Miller.

I can’t say that I was terribly surprised by the results as many low carb foods seem to have been rushed to the shelves. Still, I thought the critics would at least like something (they did find one item somewhat palatable, though I won’t spoil the surprise). In any case, if you’re in the mood for some schadenfreude, dig in to these bits:

• Bittman: What are we saying? It’s not going to make you puke? That’s our highest praise […]

• Miller: […] This is horrible. [Munches thoughtfully.] Unless … you think of it as some sort of health snack. Like some hippie side dish. They just shouldn’t make it in the shape of a chip. […]

• Bittman: It’s sandy, powdery. But you should really be feeding this to people who haven't had a muffin in three weeks. I had bread last night. Bread and pasta![…]

• Miller: I feel like I’ve just had nine Diet Cokes. […]

In fairness, the author points out that many lower-carb foods taste pretty good after all — but they’re usually the foods that are naturally low in carbs such as strawberries, asparagus, and other fruits & vegetables. The way I look at it, many of these products are a first-try in their genre; perhaps the second generation versions will be better.